what is trauma?
If you consider yourself a survivor of trauma, and have been following the topic over the past decade or so, you will have noticed a massive increase in books, articles, podcasts, and methods purported to be therapeutic.
I consider myself a survivor of trauma, and find this mostly encouraging: better for trauma to be in the light where we can have a look at it, rather than buried in the collective shadow.
Studying trauma from numerous angles over many years has helped me tremendously, and I have great respect for many teachers and practitioners.
That being said, I have a strong preference for David Bedrick’s definition of trauma. His definition is clear and also functional, that is, it offers us a path of growth to explore.
So it is with humility and gratitude to David, one of my core teachers, that I offer these reflections on trauma, for this is his work, filtered through my language and experience.
Let’s start with a concise definition of trauma, and then unpack it:
“Trauma is an abuse unwitnessed.” –David Bedrick
For this definition to make sense and be functional, we have to clearly define “abuse” and “witnessing.”
According to Bedrick, abuse always meets the following criteria:
There is an assault, a hurt
There is a power differential (parent/child, teacher/student, etc.)
There is a lack of consent
The injured person cannot adequately defend themselves
An assault is abuse* if it meets these criteria. Whether or not the abuse becomes trauma in the victim’s lived experience depends on a third component: the witness.
The witness is “the person who saw, or didn’t see, or heard the story later, or received a report of it, or should have known.” (Bedrick, 70)
If there is no witness, the abuse will be internalized as trauma.
If there is a witness who pretends the assault didn’t happen, the abuse will be internalized as trauma.
If there is a witness, but that witness minimizes, gaslights, dismisses, or denies the experience, the abuse will be internalized as trauma.
In these situations, the trauma occurs because “our system isn’t free to do what it would naturally do”, i.e. run, fight, scream, express our needs, etc.
That trauma then leads to a pattern, where, when triggered, the person’s system is overwhelmed. In addition to the pain of this pattern, and the disruption of functioning, trauma blocks some (or many) of the person’s gifts. The person’s self-image is wrapped in shame.
The process of UnShaming involves a caring witness. Someone who cares deeply about the abuse, who wants to know the details, who “express[es] empathy and compassion, and demonstrat[es] a profound trust in the heart and story of the person.” (Bedrick, 70).
I love offering Process Work, as learned from David, because I get to be a caring witness. When unfolding a survivor’s experience, it is more than just a “release” of trauma, it is a reclaiming of the gifts that were wrapped in shame.
Process Work is effective because it offers a skilled, caring witness who can follow another person’s unfolding experience, which leads inevitably to deeper knowing of some “medicine” and/or gifts the person carries within.
Process work is safe because, by UnShaming the abuse, by closely following the other person’s unfolding experience, by believing in the other person, by always looking for the other person’s feedback, what unfolds is exactly what that person needs to unfold in that moment.
Reach out to me if you’re ready to start exploring.
*Abuse doesn’t always come from a person. It can arise from unsafe employment conditions, system forces (as in systemic racism), or large scale events (a hurricane, a pandemic, a war), to name a few.
References
Personal communication, 10-Month Process Work Certification Course, David Bedrick (2023).
UnShamed Guidebook, David Bedrick (2023).